My Nana Rose passed away in September 2023 from vascular dementia. Parts of this story may resonate with some of you, but serves as a reminder that there are many people out there with shared experiences and lots of support should you need it.

My Nana began to show signs of dementia in 2017. It started subtly, telling a story or having a conversation and forgetting some words or the ending. We reminded her that we all forgot things and that it was ok. As time went on, she began getting frustrated and angry at herself for forgetting things. Money would disappear, shoes would go missing – which she was hiding but couldn’t remember where.

She began letting herself out of the house and going walks but couldn’t remember how to get home and thanks to concerned members of the public she was returned home safely each time. My Aunty moved in and became her full time carer on top of the care services which came in a few times per day, however my aunty worked full time and after a few weeks it was obvious that my Nana needed more care than my Aunty could give her and – whilst it broke her heart – my Nana had to go in to a care home.

Even though this time was sad for the family, we visited and kept her company. We could see that her mobility and memory was continuing to worsen. In early 2022, she had forgotten who I was and that was probably one of the hardest moments for me personally, and even though I knew the day would come it still hurt when it did. I can’t imagine how it must have felt for her to have a ‘stranger’ sitting talking to her.

As more time went on, her speech became mostly illegible but we could still read her mood when she had a little chuckle or looked upset and we laughed with her or held her hand and cuddled her.

Sadly, in the latter half of 2023 she had developed multiple chest infections and eventually delirium and passed away in September that year – with most of her family by her side.

She will always be missed but I’m also privileged to have had her in my life for over 40 years.